1. |
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There's no excuse for how I've been, and what I've said - it's a problem
My worn out jacket acting as my lonely cover up
I'll fix myself with klonopin, and saying that everything's alright
How many classes can I skip to stop feeling so tired?
Alibi, just a lie, to tell me why you and I should't try
Comatose, a bloody nose, another night I end up all alone
I tried to get myself to change, but I have always been the same
These lights remind me of the days when I was happy, when I was safe
My mind gets lost when I'm staring out the backseat window
The pain (pane) reflecting all the clouds that cover me
Alibi, just a lie, to tell me why you and I shouldn't try
Comatose, a bloody nose, another night I end up all alone
Getting better in due time
Seems to be the motto I live by - I think
Is this even worth a try?
Take my life
Getting by on sleepless nights
Forty minutes, forty miles
Is where my carelessness resides
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2. |
Home Improvement
02:10
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10 AM, drunk again, wondering what I
Said to you, my fish is dead,
Everything tinted yellow and blue
Baby
But I don't realize what I'm putting you through
Call again to check in. Did you get those daises?
I'm sorry for the other night
Are you there?
I'm still here waiting
For you to be my
Everything Analane I miss you
Baby
But I don't realize..
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3. |
Fortress of Raw Skin
03:41
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Fortress of raw skin
Razors cut
Let yourself in
It's been months since you needed me
You being yourself ruined my self-being
I could never live this again
I'll dig my grave under fairview trees
Envious you stand alone
Waiting for the snap of your concrete bones
I will never see you again
I'll dig my grave under fairview trees
Try to disconnect but take life past reflections of light
Notification I’m a hostage of my room for the night
Medicated
So frustrated
Obligated to stay
Stockholm syndrome got me thinking that it’s better this way
Got no bands
Got no friends
Got things turning to loose ends
A slave to these new trends
Wanted much more only made amends so
Let me go tie my rope, leave me here dead
Bury me, in the ground, that’s what I wanted but
Klonopin only went straight to my head
This the last time you’ll hear me sayin
“Facts”
Suicide tried to take my life
Damn
I miss the days I wasn’t wrong or right
What kept us close made us distant
I fell victim to addiction
Imprisoned by a decision, your status, and commision
Bounce back
But you’ll never see me ever change
Metamorphosis got me feeling like awful strange.
Off myself, killing time, sittin’ watch it tick with pain
Oceans will drown me, I’m gone
The moon pulls the tides
Like a rocking horse in the night
I need to know
If the lantern burned too bright
Ceilings get more boring over time
How much longer will it take to find
What I need in this moment
It's insurmountable
How much this means to me
What you said to me
Please talk to me
What you said to me
Was this meant to be
Please talk to me
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4. |
Elton Lux
05:27
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Oceans of blood, drown me
Without you not living
Burgeoned black and grey but I still feel small
Maybe I can find you
Daises in her hair, the glow of sunshine 'round her face
Everything in place
Crying in her room, where no one cares, where no one knows
Does anybody know?
Dying in her head, pills don't work for things unsaid
Do you feel loved?
Kill me.
Without you not living
Burgeoned black and grey but I still feel small
Maybe you can find me
I don't want you to go away for good
I could never give you what I should
Take me where you go, I swear I'm yours
Fix these broken souls
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5. |
June
03:13
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What's next?
This is hard for me too
Pushing daises, I never thought she'd bloom
Where did she learn to tie knots like that anyway?
I know
Broken under a black mistletoe of eyeballs
Something that they could never seem to see
You know
I like the feeling of feeling sad
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6. |
Knobs
03:04
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Is it enough?
Just to be someone who loves you
Just to be a hand that guides you through the clouds
Kind of blue
Like warm jazz in the afternoon
Broken pieces on the floor
My labyrinth is you
Can you hear me singing?
Innocent and warm
Down beneath the rain
Wash myself away
I will build my home
In the yellow rays
I know, I know
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7. |
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I heard you got a new tattoo
Are you gonna leave me?
Should I write my sixth draft
Or have a cup of coffee?
Do you remember what you told me?
"I'm better off alone"
"Fuck my life up on purpose
To keep feeling this way"
Spill yourself on me
What's worse than existing?
Now you regret what you need
Broken family
In between my dreams
I see what I need
Do you remember what I told you?
I heard you got a new tattoo
Are you gonna leave me?
Should I write my sixth draft
Or have a cup of coffee?
Do you remember what you told me?
"I'm better off alone"
"Fuck my life up on purpose
To keep feeling this way"
It's been a while since I wrote haiku
Kind of blue
But I know
That Rupi Kaur can't fix your drinking problem
Nothing new
I miss you
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8. |
Condemnation
01:28
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9. |
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The grass is wet with dew
My bones are brittle and confused
Morning breaks as you do with me
In the time between two scenes
They call us visionaries from afar
A glimmer in the distance falls apart
All the times that you left me alone
Peel me back unto just skin and bones
I want to know what's on the other side
The thought of mirrors makes me scared at night
It's like a sickness feeding on my mind
I want to know what's on the other side
Hush now darling, I'm just underground
Promise I won't make a sound
Inside this box you'll find grief
And an unfulfilled dream
Hush now darling, I'll be with you soon
When the tide touches the moon
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10. |
Proposal
02:01
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11. |
Digital Love Affair
04:08
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There's a broken picture on my bedside table of you and me
With words on the back reading "Your graduation"
That was the week when it all felt right
Nothing feels real
I can't remember the sound of trees
Only our argument on the street corner
As the cars drove by I heard them blare their horns
To think I thought that was enough
Now I'm here with just the memory of you and that night
And the painting of that scene
I can't help but think that my life could be just a little bit brighter
If that color photo had not been washed in so much exposure
And if my human lenses could gaze upon your digital lenses as we fall asleep
To never wake up
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Yellow After Rain Lincoln, Nebraska
Chamber emo music based out of Lincoln, NE.
No power chords, no mindless guitar tapping, no screaming.
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